I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
