so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
