We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
