Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
