I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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