you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
