I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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