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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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