yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
