i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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