What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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