The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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