Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
