hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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