i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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