I'm eating all of the evidence.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
