Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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