they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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