Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
