Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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