I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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