He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
