doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
40s are totally the cure
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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