hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
