beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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