all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
