Your face is a jimmy john
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize