Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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