yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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