If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
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