i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
