We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
