Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
