what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
