i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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