yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize