i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize