OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
