Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
