If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
