All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
