Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
