That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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