Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize