so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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