just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The adults are the big ones right?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
