I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
