I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
