I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
