wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
