fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
pop tarts are not kleenex
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
