If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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