so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
