That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
