no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
