Non-Jews are for practice
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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