the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
