dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
